Beware the Trolley!

February 8, 2010

So, I feel I have to comment on my trolley ride today. I’ll keep it as vague as I can, but people who know who I’m talking about will know enough details to piece it together.

Most of our destinations have shuttle buses, but a couple have trolleys that come by to take passengers to destinations. This is probably the third time I’ve taken this trolley, and I only decided to take it because I had noticed that there has been a different driver the past few weeks.

When we first rode the trolley we were warned about the driver not allowing cell phones (that should be a dead give away for the prior cast). The driver I had seen lately seemed a lot more relaxed and fun.

Today I planned on taking the trolley to the mall to get a coffee, and then just take a nice walk back. You know, takin’ it easy on show day. Well I wait around for the trolley and play some Settlers on my iTouch. The trolley pulls up. I go to get on while still playing my game. “No cell phones on the trolley.” Oh no. Once everyone boarded he told me again. I decided it wasn’t worth the effort to explain to him that it wasn’t a phone, or to ask why phones weren’t allowed. I could understand if he didn’t want people talking while he did his spiel, but not even texting? But I knew the answer. This guy likes to hear his own voice.

There were only two passengers and about 4 crew, so his entire talk was pretty much about how the other driver is probably going to get fired because he wasn’t checking IDs on the return trip, and he was taking people with beach towels…and that the other driver had a brain the size of a peanut. It seems the company put him back on because he “can make people do what he says.”

To break it down…this guy is a dick. You just get that vibe. But it went further today because he was trying to impress the crew. This is the conversation best as I can remember:

“The other guy is probably going to get fired. They put me back on because I can make people do what I say. It doesn’t matter if they like it or not. I was in the military and I don’t cay-ah (care). I was on a better job than this but they put me back here because of them. I don’t like driving THIS trolley because you can’t adjust the seat or wheel. I have to lean forward to reach the wheel. I told them if they keep me on this trolley I’m going to take the cushions off the passenger benches so they don’t get comfort if I don’t. I’m just sharin’ the love I get. Yeah. I’m gonna hit the bumps extra hard.”

crew: “you’ll get fired.”

“There’s no way I can get fired. There’s nothing they can do to me. First off, my uncle is the Maui Sheriff. Second, I am from royalty. My lineage has been proven by the federal state. When I was in the military I had so many article 15s and all I ever got was a slap on the wrist because they knew I was royalty. One time they tried to punish me and the whole town got up set and said ‘we’ll burn this whole place down if you do anything to him.’ So, they said ‘it isn’t worth it…let him go.’ There’s no way I could get fired.”

100% bullshit. I remember when I went on vacation in London and Prince Charles was doing double-decker bus tours. There must be something about giving someone a microphone and letting him talk that eventually makes them believe “not only can I say anything, but whatever I saw is true.”

It was only made worse by some of the crew buying into his story.

So, if you ride on a trolley, and it gets to the point where stuff like that is being said you probably have the right to say “why are you driving a trolley if you’re royalty?”

Tags: dipshits, Hawaii,